I think my mom is giving up on her life for us.

My mom has a FLU

I called my mom early this morning and i heard a weakness in her voice combined with the noise of stuffed nose…catastrophy , panick , yes my mom has a flu and yes she is all alone sleeping in the hospital. It seems really bad and it feels worst, I just don’t see what else I can do. Hospital regulations are very strict and that sickens me. What can we do? What can I do?

I am left here feeling useless and hopeless with my prayers and hoping that the night will pass and she will wake up in the morning feeling better. I was reading this paper today about a biological process in waste water treatment and I realized that when I deal with my field of expertise I always count on specific steps and formulas/calculations to achieve a specific result. Now in the case of my mom I have accepted what the doctors have said and kind of given up and have been only praying. It was sort of an enlightening moment , like a reminder that I should just do something instead of sit and wait for a miracle.

So I do need a plan , time is running out and I have no idea what to do….of course except of doing a lot of research…maybe I should contact all the centers I was intending to contact at first…I think I will do that…I have nothing to lose and everything to win

If you’re going through hell, keep going. – WINSTON CHURCHILL

Go beyond the boundaries

Yesterday was the meeting we have all been dreading: it was the meeting that was going to decide the next step to be done after the two surgeries and thus my mom’s “destiny”. We all had the hunch that the doctors are about to give up on the healing and put forth a palliative path to deal with the situation. It meant for us all defeat. We prayed a lot before the meeting and prepared as many arguments as we could think of and the meeting went smoothly. The doctors listened to our arguments and agreed to postpone the final decision such that they could monitor my mom’s health and see if in 10 days she would be able to be in a better condition, recovered from her surgery and the question of doing a treatment would be more rational. I felt that the attitude of going on the attack instead of sitting back and being passive along of course with the prayers paid back.
I believe that we have to know as much as possible on the disease we are fighting, we are not doctors and will never be, it is just that we cannot count on the doctor all the time. Being a passive patient doesn’t help, the more we learn about the disease the more we learn about the ways to cure it. We have to be risk takers and doctors will not support us in often times, plus the cold realization that we simply aren’t presented with any really viable alternatives. Also, I am beginning to realize that no one oncologist can know all there is to know about any specific type of cancer; there is just way too much information out there, new research and clinical trials. So the family is in the perfect position to focus all its energy on doing research and learning about that one specific type of cancer and searching all around the world for newer options while of course considering the more traditional approaches.
At last I think it is important to celebrate my mom’s success in her two operations, I just cannot wait till she gets back home so that we can throw a huge party…

Die, my dear doctor, that's the last thing I shall do. - LORD PALMERSTON

The Power of Prayer

Yesterday we have moved to come to this other hospital where my mom could get surgery sooner , that is hopefully a good thing , we are praying and counting on God’s will and protection. The surgery was schedule for this morning, however she couldn’t handle the pain and had to be rescheduled for some day next week where they could find someone to administer full body anesthesia.

They say everything happens for a reason, I wonder if this is happening for a reason as well, maybe she is not meant to do this operation maybe her body will heal by itself. I am praying for that, at this point I believe that it is all in the hands of the Lord and that even the medicine are tools He is using to fix the situation.

It is very hard for me to live in the unknown, but my mom has surpassed a very hard new year’s eve, and I think that God made her get through it alive because He has healing plans for her.

“My son, attend to my words; consent and submit to my sayings. Let them not depart from your sight; keep them in the center of your heart. For they are life to those who find them, healing and health to all their flesh.” - Proverbs 4:20-22