A grudge is defined as "resentment strong enough to justify retaliation". Everyone has, at some time or other, been hurt deeply by someone close. Bitterness about the person or situation leads to a grudge.
Personal injustice ignites resentment in heart, which turns into a grudge. Since grudge is a form of resentment, a person who bears grudge may become revengeful. Instead of focusing on what he needs to solve a problem, for instance, he may spend most of his time thinking of ways to get back at whom he resents. This can be dangerous for there is a possibility of injuries.
When someone hurts us, a natural human reaction is to hurt them back. Our very nature spurs us to settle the score, to get even. Usually we forgive the offender over the time as the intensity weakens over period. If we do not forgive the offender the only alternatives are to try revenge, or decide to hold a grudge. The person who hurt us might not even know how angry and bitter we feel. Our emotions of hate and anger continue to aggravate at their supposed indifference. Isn't it ridiculous that in supposedly getting even with another, the only ones we hurt are ourselves at all health levels, physically, spiritually and emotionally.
A grudge pours its corrosive bitterness into us, arrogating our entire being. Soon the door will be open for envy, malice, jealousy, bitterness, gossip, and slander to come and visit. We will stop at nothing to even the score against the other party. Holding a grudge will only devour you from inside out, eventually turning you into a bitter person. All this happens because you refuse to forgive the one who hurt you. The price to pay is too high.
If we have a grudge, we feel guilty. We will sub-consciously feel unaccepted and we will never feel fully forgiven. Holding a grudge keeps life running on rewind, preventing us from moving on with life and looking forward to the future. We keep looking over our shoulders at some past injustice we experienced. We recall how awful it was. A grudge handcuffs us to this negative past, causing us to irrationally dwell on the past and blame our present failures on past misfortunes.
Releasing this grudge can bring happiness and release. Carrying a grudge pokes holes in our energy bucket. We will feel constantly tired, weary, and lethargic. Fatigue is the faithful companion of a grudge. At the end of each day you will collapse in exhaustion, wondering why we feel so fatigued. It is because we are wasting great amounts of unconscious energy maintaining our grudge. Releasing this grudge through forgiveness will result in a brand new surge of emotional and physical energy. It is difficult, if not impossible, to forgive an offense. Our memory has been created in such a way that it will contain all the events of your lives. It is conceivable that you can remember everything that ever occurred in your life, especially painful experiences, or more so the feelings resulting from these experiences.
Therefore, when we cannot forget an offense, we can choose not to dwell on it. We cannot fully erase the memory banks of our mind but we do have the power to refuse to think on past injustices, once forgiven.
The best way to deal with a grudge is to stop thinking about the grudge itself and focus on accomplishing important goals. We will gain satisfaction and self-worth from accomplishing these goals. Conversely, the worst possible way to deal with a grudge would be to dwell on it. If we push ahead and create a satisfying life, we will feel less frustrated and less angry. It will take our mind off your grudge. We will be more willing to take responsibility for our actions, and our need to blame will dissipate. We will not want to taint our happiness by being ungracious. In essence, getting ahead in our lives will come to be more important than getting even. Hate begets hate. Happiness begets happiness.
The best way to forget is to improve our behavior and circumstances until we feel safe enough to let go of bitter memories. If someone has upset us in the past, try to work out an informal agreement with the person so you can feel reasonably sure it will not happen again.
Often the reasons of "holding a grudge for someone" are more mental than physical. A bad relationship, poor self image, a history of abuse, stress, frustration and many other factors can change your overall attitude towards life which may directly impede your overall performance. Such tendencies are deep-rooted in mind and nurtured by excessive Negative Emotions.
It is needless to mention that these negative emotions are tremendously powerful. They can debilitate lives extremely quick by causing disparity in energy system, which triggers a sequence of emotional imbalance (i.e. frustration, melancholia, persistent agony, mental instability, uncontrolled anger, inferiority complex etc.), which ultimately culminates in ill health.
When someone hurts us, a natural human reaction is to hurt them back. Our very nature spurs us to settle the score, to get even. Usually we forgive the offender over the time as the intensity weakens over period. If we do not forgive the offender the only alternatives are to try revenge, or decide to hold a grudge. The person who hurt us might not even know how angry and bitter we feel. Our emotions of hate and anger continue to aggravate at their supposed indifference. Isn't it ridiculous that in supposedly getting even with another, the only ones we hurt are ourselves at all health levels, physically, spiritually and emotionally.
A grudge pours its corrosive bitterness into us, arrogating our entire being. Soon the door will be open for envy, malice, jealousy, bitterness, gossip, and slander to come and visit. We will stop at nothing to even the score against the other party. Holding a grudge will only devour you from inside out, eventually turning you into a bitter person. All this happens because you refuse to forgive the one who hurt you. The price to pay is too high.
If we have a grudge, we feel guilty. We will sub-consciously feel unaccepted and we will never feel fully forgiven. Holding a grudge keeps life running on rewind, preventing us from moving on with life and looking forward to the future. We keep looking over our shoulders at some past injustice we experienced. We recall how awful it was. A grudge handcuffs us to this negative past, causing us to irrationally dwell on the past and blame our present failures on past misfortunes.
Releasing this grudge can bring happiness and release. Carrying a grudge pokes holes in our energy bucket. We will feel constantly tired, weary, and lethargic. Fatigue is the faithful companion of a grudge. At the end of each day you will collapse in exhaustion, wondering why we feel so fatigued. It is because we are wasting great amounts of unconscious energy maintaining our grudge. Releasing this grudge through forgiveness will result in a brand new surge of emotional and physical energy. It is difficult, if not impossible, to forgive an offense. Our memory has been created in such a way that it will contain all the events of your lives. It is conceivable that you can remember everything that ever occurred in your life, especially painful experiences, or more so the feelings resulting from these experiences.
Therefore, when we cannot forget an offense, we can choose not to dwell on it. We cannot fully erase the memory banks of our mind but we do have the power to refuse to think on past injustices, once forgiven.
The best way to deal with a grudge is to stop thinking about the grudge itself and focus on accomplishing important goals. We will gain satisfaction and self-worth from accomplishing these goals. Conversely, the worst possible way to deal with a grudge would be to dwell on it. If we push ahead and create a satisfying life, we will feel less frustrated and less angry. It will take our mind off your grudge. We will be more willing to take responsibility for our actions, and our need to blame will dissipate. We will not want to taint our happiness by being ungracious. In essence, getting ahead in our lives will come to be more important than getting even. Hate begets hate. Happiness begets happiness.
The best way to forget is to improve our behavior and circumstances until we feel safe enough to let go of bitter memories. If someone has upset us in the past, try to work out an informal agreement with the person so you can feel reasonably sure it will not happen again.
Often the reasons of "holding a grudge for someone" are more mental than physical. A bad relationship, poor self image, a history of abuse, stress, frustration and many other factors can change your overall attitude towards life which may directly impede your overall performance. Such tendencies are deep-rooted in mind and nurtured by excessive Negative Emotions.
It is needless to mention that these negative emotions are tremendously powerful. They can debilitate lives extremely quick by causing disparity in energy system, which triggers a sequence of emotional imbalance (i.e. frustration, melancholia, persistent agony, mental instability, uncontrolled anger, inferiority complex etc.), which ultimately culminates in ill health.
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